


Another Day Goes By - A Character Study In Elliot Alderson

by Myworldoffanfanfiction



Series: I don’t feel like you know me well enough to understand [2]
Category: Mr. Robot (TV)
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Hurt/No Comfort, Kinda, Lonliness, M/M, No Beta We Die Like Tyrell, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, SPOILERS FOR SEASON 4 OF MR. ROBOT KINDA, Season 4 Mr. Robot Spoilers, Set in Season 1, Spoilers, Whump, alternative universe - canon compliant, at all, but not canon compliant, but not rlly, elliot knows he has did, i rlly love elliot, i wish we could’ve seen more of him, maybe a tiny bit of comfort, mcdonalds, sorry - Freeform, vent fic, writer does not have did and if they have offended someone please tell them
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-22
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:27:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27153140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Myworldoffanfanfiction/pseuds/Myworldoffanfanfiction
Summary: Loneliness. Curable for some, but Elliot Alderson, he has never been so lucky.(summary is shit but I think u all will like this one)
Relationships: Darlene Alderson & Elliot Alderson, Elliot Alderson & Krista Gordon, Elliot Alderson & Magda Alderson, Elliot Alderson & Mr. Robot, Elliot Alderson & Tyrell Wellick, Mr. Robot/Tyrell Wellick
Series: I don’t feel like you know me well enough to understand [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1817470
Kudos: 10





	Another Day Goes By - A Character Study In Elliot Alderson

**Author's Note:**

> AHHHHHHHHHHH
> 
> I love Elliot sm I wish we could’ve seen More of HIM and not just Mastermind (nothing against mastermind I love him but Elliot is my bby)

Loneliness. It ate Elliot up like a prisoner eating their last meal before they go off to whatever the fuck happens to you when you die. Elliot didn’t know. The closest times he had died, age 8, the window accident with Dad, age 15, his own doing, his own hand slicing up the opposite arm until little 12 year old Darlene was banging on the bathroom door with yells of panic laced into her words. Even after those experiences, he didn’t know what happened when you finally succumbed to your last breaths, be it in pain or in your sleep. He didn’t know. And that scared the fuck out of Elliot. Not knowing what would happen next if the loneliness did overcome him completely and he fell into the old habit of almost dying every single fucking night with a blade gripped in a shaking hand, gangling up the opposite arm or the inner part of his way to skinny thighs to begin with. 

That was what Elliot was, skinny, Dad had liked his small figure. Mr. Robot hated it. That was a nice difference between the two. Elliot knew they weren’t the same person, yet that fucking face, that grin, it was too close to the monster he had had to call Dad. But Dad was gone, he had Mr. Robot, and Magda as well, a women who also looked like his pathetic excuse for a mother, yet although with a few exceptions, wasn’t his real Mom. Mr. Robot wasn’t his real Dad either. But sometimes, when the loneliness and the attacks and everything comes together in one big heap of nonstop sobbing until dawn break, he liked to pretend. Just for a second, just to give himself some guilty pleasure, just to make himself feel at least a tiny bit more comfortable, before reality set it’s fat ass twice as hard as it had before in Elliot’s lap and let him deal with the out come. 

The loneliness came with the others, he knew that, and felt bad for it every single day. That the others felt the pain too, the itch under his skin, the repetitive thumping over and over until they too would break. He hoped not. He needed them. Probably more than they needed him. Which Elliot hated the most. 

He would blank out sometimes, or most of the time nowadays, and sometimes he would be just going to bed, then he would be having a straight conversation with Tyrell Wellick, as the wannabe CTO gave him a genuine smile over- what was that? McDonalds fries? What had Mr. Robot done now- 

“Oh, Elliot” Tyrell’s smile didn’t leave, but his mannerisms changed to something softer, less pulled towards Elliot. He appreciated that. He hated attention that was unneeded towards him, which, in his eyes, was all the attention he got. Which.. wasn’t a lot anyway... “Me and Mr. Robot were just talking, he wanted to come to McDonalds, so here we are” Great. So Mr. Robot and Tyrell Wellick were having private conversations without Elliot at fucking McDonalds. Great. 

“Oh” Elliot, always the quiet one when thinking through his own mind, just said plainly, looking down at his lap, fiddling with the sleeves of Mr. Robots jacket. He preferred his hoodies, but it was a king sleeve and Elliot could just quickly go home and change. Speaking of going home, that felt like the best plan ever at that moment “I’m.. gonna go” He mumbled, not bothering with the bright, obnoxious red tray filled with Mr. Robots not-yet-touched food. He wasn’t hungry, so Mr. Robot couldn’t have been either. What did that mean? They were spying on someone and trying to blend in? Or were they actually having a secret meeting without Elliot knowing and had not wanted to look like two weirdos just talking in a McDonalds, one in an oversized jacket that looked like it belonged to a homeless person, and the other in a tip-top shape suit, not even one hair out of place or a crinkle in his shirt. Not one. 

Elliot stood, and left, Tyrell actually cleaning up before rushing after him at the door. He helped keep it open as Elliot exited the building. Elliot didn’t wait up for Tyrell, he just kept walking down the busy street, blending into the busy pathways of people easily. 

But not easily enough to get Tyrell off his back. 

He caught up, obviously, with the longer legs than his own, and Elliot didn’t even glance up at him when he started to talk. He let Tyrell go on, not looking, but listening none the less. 

“Let me walk you home, Mr. Robot told me it was a bit further than my own apartment and I wouldn’t want you to walk all that way on your own” Tyrell was being nice. Which was... Elliot didn’t know. Kind? A nice offer? But- 

“I’m never alone” Elliot mumbled, letting Tyrell realise his own mistake in his offer.

“Oh.. right, my apologies I didn’t mean any-“ 

“None taken.” That finished that. 

They got to Elliot’s apartment block, and Elliot didn’t even bother turning around to say goodbye to Tyrell. He was Mr. Robots friend, not his own. If Tyrell thiught he was going to become friends with Elliot because he and Mr. Robot had- whatever they had- going on, he was wrong. Elliot was different from Mr. Robot. Elliot was different from Mastermind. Elliot was different from Magda. Elliot was different from his 8-year old counterpart. Although they shared a body, they were different. And Tyrell needed to learn that. 

Or was that selfish to think? 

Loneliness. There is no cure for it, at least not for Elliot Alderson. He had nobody really, no real friends he could turn too. He had Darlene, maybe, but she wasn’t always around, and he respected that. Mr. Robot now had Tyrell. Mastermind was closer to Krista than Elliot himself was, with those few years they spent together. Magda and 8-year-old Elliot had the other. So who did Elliot Alderson have? 

Nobody.

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE tell me how I did, it’s my one of my first ever serious works, as I write more fluff than whump, and wanted to use Elliot because BOY is that bby packed with trauma :,(


End file.
